I have and I am at the point now that it is affecting me.
You see I lost the whole month of December 2000, The month of my birthday. I started to notice a slowdown in my life toward the end of November. I would forget certain things, walk around in a “cloud”, and not have enough energy to do housework. As December started, I noticed that my vision was going blurry. Actually on my 27th birthday, I noticed that I was nearsighted. Though it was from sitting at a computer all day. I also couldn�t remember my day.
I was stressed out, over worked, under appreciated, and pretty much tired all of the time. I couldn�t remember deadlines, emails, conversations and this was starting to effect my work. I was dealing with consultants at the time, a good punch of people but their entrance into my life caused some problems. Am I that bummed out that I can�t do what needs to be done?
I even went on a trip to Savannah with Niki to see my friend Andy graduate. Do I remember anything about that trip? Well Yes & No. I remember that I had to pee every 30 minutes and I remember that it snowed during our night in Atlanta. We got up and I drove on an icy freeway with bad vision and a head in the clouds. When we got to Statesboro, I remember Phil driving and going to an overly packed arena. Afterwards, Niki and I went to our room in Savannah. Here�s what I remember of Savannah: It was un-seasonably cold, we had a great view of a church, we went on the roof to see Savannah. I remember walking along the squares and I remember driving down a one-way street because I didn�t see the sign. I don�t remember anything about the trip back home.
This is hard to take for someone who has a semi-photographic memory. I can remember what was on TV on the night that Three Mile Island melted down. (It was a movie based on the song “You Light Up my Life” BTW). I was about 4-5 years old when this happened. I could tell you when my Winnie the Pooh bear lost its sewn on mouth. (I was 3 and it was the Ramada Inn in Ft. Lauderdale) I can tell you that Lars Ulrich used one of Rick Allen�s Ludwig Black Beauty snares on the recording of “And Justice for All. I hate Metallica, I just picked that up from something I read in High School. I can tell you what Niki wore the first time we met and I can tell you pretty much about anything I�ve ever read. Music trivia? Ask me a question and I bet I�ll know it. The only thing I can�t remember is December 2000.
I found out on January 4, 2001 that I was a diabetic and my memory loss, weight loss, and vision loss were signs that I have Diabetes. Within a month my blood sugar was back to normal from 545, my vision was back and my memory was somewhat back. My lack of energy was attributed to a Thyroid condition that I believe I�ve had for a long time, years possibly. I am a slimmer trimmer Mike. I�m healthier than I�ve been in a long time and I care about my health. The only memory lapses I have now are due to low blood sugar and those are about a twice a month occurrence.
How does losing December affect me in April 2001? I spent almost a whole week with Niki in a lovely place that I can�t remember. I spent time with friends and I can�t remember a damn thing about it. I made decisions at work that I�m not happy with and it�s being made as an example of my work. There are problems I just didn�t care about and I am the only one responsible. Should I be responsible? I don�t know, but this has effected me. And the worst part is that I can�t really explain how I felt in that lonely month, words and actions wouldn�t do it justice.
What can I appreciate because of this? The time I spend with people. The time I sit with a book and read for hours and being able to talk about that book over dinner. I enjoy the world around me because I can remember what it looks like. I talked with Niki about this�and as she put it, “That was just one month, you have a lot longer to live and to experience”. She�s right.
My life really hasn�t started yet.