the enron of eastgate

August 7, 2002

After reading the following articles I created a fictional(?) account of what I believe happened with the Eastgate Skating Rink:



[INT: Stereotypical Executive Conference Room with mahogany Furniture and Suits in Black Pinstripe Powersuits with Power ties sitting around a large table. The meeting room has a large wall of just windows and the room appears to be floating in the clouds.

[Camera pans the room before it focuses in the Head Suit at the opposite end of the long mahogany table.]

Head Suit: “Can anyone think of how we can make some extra money for that failing Eastgate property we bought back from the original developers?”

Suit A: “Hey, I have an idea. We can take the most profitable business in there, our skating rink, and sell it out from under the person who leases it.”

Head Suit: [leans toward Suit A] “Go on…”

Suit A: “Then we can sell it and not even offer to sell it to the leasee. Then we can sell it to an out of town company. We can drive the two other profitable businesses out, because over 40% of their revenue comes from the skating rink and drive our other businesses away.

Suit B: “Oh cool, then we can make up some cockamamie story about how the repairs, that my brother can do for $1,000, would take $35,000”

Head Suit: [taking a long puff of a cigar and removing the cigar] “Brilliant!”

Suit C: “So you’re saying that eventually everyone, aside from the insurance company and call center, would eventually leave? The Mexican restaurant, the Honey Baked Ham place…….Even the Orange Julius?”

Suit D: “I smell tax write off!”

Head Suit: “Two cheers for Smithers (Suit A)……..Hip Hip…..”

Group: “Hurray!”

[Fade to Black]

Voice Over: “Somehow, they never thought that a business that catered to cute little children would be their demise. That was, until 40 of the skaters, teary-eyed and crying on camera, formed a picket line around the mall. Cameras were setup interviewing the actual people who use this facility.

And the moral of our story?


Corporate greed’s impact on the bottom line doesn’t equal the face of a crying little girl on television”.