November 16, 2002

Tonight was Niki’s 5 year high school reunion. So I got to tag along to a place about 45 minutes away from a scotch and soda. The typical groups were there: The preps, the student council type, the ever-fun jocks, and the band geeks. Since I was only a visitor in this sociology experiement, it was almost ironic that we sat with the band geeks. We finished our meal and a roving band of drunk jocks arrived freshly stewed from the UGA game. I had already been informed that no alcohol would be available at this suare’, but was rather shocked when the preps had a bottle chilling. Niki was complaing about it to me, as the little miss started selectively pouring out glasses to friends. Then I noticed that it was a cheap, horrible wine, and told Niki not to worry about it. They’re about a year into drinking wine, and just picked up a pretty bottle.

While all of this looked too familure, It only reminded me of why I didn’t attend my 5 year. I did want to go to the one this year, but we have an idiot who didn’t remember in time. Anyway, the 10 would have been fun, get a couple of marriages and babies under people’s belts + alcohol = instant fun. The 5 would have been a sick reminder of the socio structure of high school. My head was in such a different place at that time.

So after we drank our diet coke, ate our chicken, and jonesed for a cigarette, we split. And yes, we drove about 45 minutes north to a decent scotch and soda. Over our pub pickles, I also figured out that I was probably the oldest one there….maybe even the most cynical. While this post might seem like a ravenous synopsis, I know that my reunion won’t be much better.

One of the best parts of the evening was a little game they left for the alumni. A little sheet to be gathered up and read at the next reunion. Since I was only an observer, I wasn’t allowed to officially put my sheet together. But that didn’t stop me from all of the fun. I didn’t know anyone’s names, except the couple we came with, so I could only do this thinking about my graduating class of 1992. These are a couple of questions that should have been asked:

Who will have come out of the closet?

The star football/baseball player or that girl that always wore the John Deere hat*.

Who will still be reliving the the “glory days” of high school?

Aside from me, One of the jocks.

Who will be on a TV commercial hocking used cars and/or running for elected office?

One of the jocks or perhapts the guy who worked at a Taco Bell from 16 to 26, finally obtaining the position of assistant manager.

Who will have moved to Thailand in search of….er…you know?

Our 9th Grade Science Teacher, Capt. Creepy PedoPaedo.

Trust me, I wish I was joking on some of these.

*Actually the “Girl With The John Deere Hat” was actually the “Girl With The Joy Dog Food Hat”, but unless you grew up in North Georgia, you would have been confused if I wrote that down. She was rather nice, looked like a 12 year-old boy and dipped chewing tobacco.

**I also changed the original title of this, to Subdivisions. A song, by Rush, about the typical suburban teen’s life.