Laugh. It’s Monday.

April 21, 2003

Tarzan’s Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots – Baseball Story

Was he the best pitcher that ever threw a baseball? Back in the 1950s, there were a lot of folks who thought so. Mel Famey of the Milwaukee Braves was a natural — a once-in-a-lifetime phenomenon whose fast ball blew away the best hitters. His 90 MPH curveball would start out like it was going to hit the batter’s ear, only to break at the last instant and hit the outside corner of the plate for a strike. His changeup made the best hitters in the league cry — they would swing, drop the bat, and stare incredulously as the ball hit the catcher’s mitt. He was indeed awesome!

Why then, you might ask, is he not in the Hall of Fame? Why haven’t you ever heard of him? Alas, like many others before him, Mel’s downfall was demon alcohol. Ol’ Mel really liked to tilt the glass. His drinking became almost legendary around the country, but he never let it affect his pitching until …

The Braves and the Yankees were in the World Series! Excitement reigned! The series was tied at three games apiece, and the Braves were in New York for the seventh and deciding game. The night before the big event, Mel’s thirst got the better of him. He snuck out of the hotel after curfew, and bought himself two cases of beer. As you might imagine, the next morning Mel didn’t feel too good. But being the pro that he was, Mel managed to do just fine — until the bottom of the ninth inning. With the Braves ahead by one run, two out, and the bases loaded, Mel’s revelry the night before finally caught up to him. Eight straight pitches — eight straight balls. He walked in the tying run and the winning run, thereby, losing the game and the series.

After the game, a reporter went to the jubilant Yankee’s clubhouse and spoke to the last two players that faced Mel. “Tell me”, he asked, “to what do you attribute this victory over the best pitcher in the major leagues”? In unison they replied,

“It was the beer that made Mel Famey walk us”!

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