Blurred Personal

June 24, 2003

I don’t write about my day-to-day life, as a diabetic. Normally it isn’t an issue. After I was diagnosed in January 2001, I led a pretty strict life of diet and exercise. I actually got my weight down and exercised enough, that I didn’t need meds.

Somewhere I fell off the wagon. Not enough time to exercise…missing time to plan “good” meals. I went back on my meds last year. While I weigh less than I did when I dieted and exercised, I’m so not in shape it isn’t even funny. So, when my blood sugar went up this past week, it really hit me hard. Taking meds and not eating….all while being sick on top of that, really makes it hard to function lately.

Then again, it’s a trade-off. When I had my sugar regulated, I always came to point in the day where I bottomed out. My memory went south and I felt like I wanted to just lie down. I’d like my head to be that clear again, though.

So it’s a trade-off I have to make. I’d much rather deal with a daily 30 minute problem, than have a blurry head and eyes. It’s a lot of mental work….I’ve done it before. But it’s so f-ing hard sometimes.

It took me a few hours today to mentally form this post. Should I talk about it, should I not? So I decided to sit down and just type. Please, excuse this little personal diatribe….it’s not a cry for help. Just wanted to share this little part of my life.