Dancing A Jig, Wearing Clogs

I’ve tallied a list, of what I believe must represent the people who live

above us and the events that must occur in that little apartment:

• They’re bowlers
• They run a kennel
• They’re deaf
• They’re completely f$&#ing deaf
• They’re vampires with a 4am wake-up call
• They’re Shriners, practicing driving those little cars around.
• They vacuum once a month. (ooh, ick, with three dogs…ick)

• They’re about 6ft 9in with size 19 shoes…probably thick steel toe boots

  and weigh a metric ton.

• With the previously mentioned boots, partake in some

  northern Alabama folk-dancing, clogging, or irish jig.

• They have poor taste in music…

• Have some sort of satanic and or Shriner spell on our landlords, keeping

  them from booting their f$&#ing asses, even after breaking their “three strike” rules.

• Have some sort of satanic and or Shriner spell on the security guards/police,

  keeping them from ticketing their f$&#ing

  asses.

• Thinking Niki and I are completely daft.

So you see, we either have satanic shriners who dance the jig while maintaining

a small kennel, or we have some extremely rude, white trash neighbors who

for all intents and purposes will never be kicked out. Everyone else in the

building is great, nice neighbors who we only hear going up the steps or

when we’re outside. Actually the entire complex is nice too, nice clean place,

but damned if we didn’t crap out on our choice of apartment. Maybe by this

time next year, we’ll have a house.