My Grammy Speech

February 9, 2004

“Oh wow……… ”

“(raises Grammy to the sky) I’d like to thank God for making this possible. Wow…..”


“Ok, first I’d like to thank the academy….because if I can win a Grammy in this sea of corporate music & dead artists, then there may be hope yet.”

“I’d like to thank my lovely wife and family, my friends, my producer, my accountant, and my A&R guy. Because honestly, I owe all of them money, and they’ve been very patient with me.”

(camera focus on producer Steve Albani who’s mouthing the words “I told you so”)

“I’d like to also thank everyone who tried to make a political statement tonight…honestly, who cares what you think? Sure you identify with the person, but don’t act like a flock of sheep….oh wait…that’s what the record companies and this very academy wants.”

“Sorry about that, but what would you rather have: a semi-rant about music or to see my nipple?”

(slight chuckles from the crowd)

(camera focus on Justin Timberlake)

“I’d like to also thank Steve Jobs. While Apple didn’t invent legal music downloads on the web, they’re giving the actual CD buyers what they want, instead of suing some little 12 year old girl from the projects, because Britney didn’t get enough to purchase that Gulfstream V.”

“I’d like to thank Trey and Matt from South Park for that last line.”


“Piracy isn’t the issue, it’s providing a format that isn’t completely DRM-laden. Stop talking to lawyers and get prepared for the death of the compact disk, it’s happening in t minus 5-4-3-2…. well you get the point”

(camera focus on Neil Portnow, NARAS President, giving the cut signal)

(music starts playing)

“Oh sorry, I went a little over. Oh well, thanks!”