Two or Three Comments Per Award…

February 27, 2005

Since FOX decided to run that horrible movie “Independence Day” instead of “The Simpsons”, I’ve decided to watch the Oscars and make pithy comments the entire evening. Also, if you want an even more sarcastic look at the Oscars, The Superficial has their commentary as well.

Best Supporting Actor

  • from Niki: “Renee Zelweiger looks good…..”
  • WTF? Lowell from “Wings” is up for an Oscar?

Best Animated Features

  • Brando as Fudd is brilliant.
  • Please don’t let that bloddy “Shark Tale” win.
  • Robin’s iPod comment was awesome, LOL

Ok. I’m seriously thinking about dropping TextDrive. I keep getting Database errors…double un-cool.

Makeup.

  • Cate Blanchet is very pretty, very fitting for the Makeup Awards.

Original Song

  • After “Charlie’s Angels”, why is Drew Barrymore still even considered an actress?
  • Does anyone have a bet, that Beyonce will still do one of those R&B runs in this French opera?
  • Much better singers out there, why her? Shit, she didn’t do it. But she sounded weak.

Best Comment from the Superficial

6:07 – I really thought that grace, dignity, self-respect and talent were an impediment to success in pop music lately. They sure as hell aren’t requirements, but Beyonce has done pretty well, so I guess not.

Damn, that’s the only way that Martin Lawrence would ever be on the Oscars

Sci-tech Awards

  • Yay, those Luma camera people and their political views. They have to censor that stuff next year.
  • I’ll still bet they’re funnier than Chris Rock.

Achievement in Costume Design

  • Cartoon Presenters and I quote Eric Cartmen, “Lame”

Actress in a Supporting Role

  • Virginia Madsen, overated.
  • Cate Blanchett seems to have done a hell of a job with Kate Hepburn

The Carson Tribute

  • i’ve forgotten how funny Johnny Carson was
  • see, this is what being a funny host is all about

Best Documentary

  • born into brothels- read about this, and seems like an interesting story.
  • at least it isn’t about selling supersized kids to mcdonalds

film editing

  • i’m pulling for finding neverland in everything
  • of course the aviator is gonna win everything

Counting Crows

  • Mike Meyers looks like a cross between paul mcartney and tom cruise
  • not a bad song. adam’s hair is in rare form, they should add an oscar for it’s performance

I hate adam sandler. talk about unfunny. whata jackass

Best Screenplay adapted blah blah blah

  • at one point I wanted to be a screenwriter
  • these guys make me want to be a real writer instead..

Ok. I can’t do this any more.

  • My wife changed the channel
  • and dear g-d, what the hell are you people doing? what a fucking horrible way to honor people.