Fishes

March 11, 2005

I’m sitting here, finally able to type out some semblance of a blog post, probably the only post I’ll add for about a week or so. I’m leaving out for San Diego on Sunday, laptop and camera phone in hand, so I’ll probably post some photos while I’m out there.

After a week, that kept me hopping. This trip, on the company dime, will almost be a relaxing way to recharge before having to go back to the grind and make up for being out a week in a one tech shop. I’ve left the place, almost caught up, lacking roughly another day or two that would be necessary to get everything up and fairly normal.

I’m also trying to get my personal shit together before heading out. I have a Mac that I really need to return to a friend, who’s been using my iBook for months. I’m in need of packing, washing clothes, emailing/calling good friends, and trying to not spin myself into a deep dark well. I’ve been lacking the time for anything and everyone in my life, including myself. And friends, that isn’t always a good place to be. So, I’m just trying to center and calm and make sure I can always sit back and read something or just write when I can come up for that gasp of air.

fish cannot liftIn nature we have the series of repetitions among species. Working with people, you can (at times) seem like a little school of fish (or packs of wild animals). Working together for a common cause, working your ass off (in unity) to get something to perfection. And that, quite honestly, is the mark of a good company to work for. At the end of the day, if you and the other fishes can still swim, then it’s not as bad as it seems. Just sometimes, the little fishies swim underwater so much, that they’re struggling to swim up for that one little breath of air.

Nature is all about ups and downs…yin/yang, etc. We have busy times and slow times. We have black and white. We have hate and love. If we recognize that, then we can conquer our fears and live another day. If we only see the black, the downs and the hate, then we’re doomed to be that floating little fish at the top of the tank instead of the beautiful ones chasing each other in unity. And that’s the hard part and that’s life.

I’m gonna spend the next few days breathing as much clean air as I can and just live.